White is the roof,
the deck
and the snow covered yard
and one little dog
rolling in the glittering bliss of it! Happy Day!



cafe vienna

my favorite

the cinnamon and spices

taste and aroma

of the coffee within

snow and brittle wind

this morning

across the yard

across the road

be safe, be warm

loved ones

all are loved ones

you and me

mountain ghost story

with the morning lights


watch for the light readings

cantique de noel

bing crosby, david bowie duet


my ‘christmas begins’

peace on earth

always with me



Part of the reason for the blog, to talk about chronic pain.  I have it, I’m trying not to be it. Not sure why, but it’s difficult for me to write about.  I’d rather express myself in poetry, but there are times. . .

So, I like to write from the point of view of what made the difference.  No, the pain never went away and I have had worsening since 2011, and another turn in 2016.  I started out in one place, wound up in another.  I was initially put on long-acting morphine and then fentanyl patches.  That would not do for me.  I did need some pharmaceutical help with pain but I knew there had to be better for my mind and I found that.

I began to read, research, study mindfulness training in all its forms, some were just whoo-hoo, and forget that.  If I hear the name Deepak Chopra, I run. . . but, that’s me.  I investigated, questioned, read about, studied, practiced and the changes, for me, were beyond expectation and there was the whole wide world just as it had always been, I had been too burrowed in to notice.  Voila!  Hello there!

Developing my own practice led me away from a controlling, abusive cult-like church environment; to the transformation of an abusive relationship and to the recognition that I mattered, I existed and had value.  Think for myself time.

There can’t be enough said for mind training.  Some, come by it naturally, or so they think.  Then, there are those whose emotional development is circumvented by abuse or other traumatic events and we have to acknowledge those influences and continue working through that arrested emotional development by knowing our own minds and committing to that practice.  It is not a cure all, but it’s a good start.  It has been proven to create positive outcome in prisons, schools (k-12) and in medical communities dealing with chronic and end-of-life illnesses.  It is one of very few actually helpful resources for domestic violence/child abuse and chemical dependency.  To know your own mind, to finally refer to the instruction manual to commit to practicing is, to me, hope.

No, I can’t escape the physical reality of illness, but I can choose who I am, in each moment.  And, I am happy, I love, I do my best to be kind.  That’s the whole big world, to me.  I hope in your own circumstances you find the happiest self of you.  Thank you, Lilie